I am at the beck and call of menopause, ageing, and my back aches.
The physio says my back muscles are so overdeveloped and strong from my gymnastics and years of fitness training and yoga that periodically, they contract, causing the muscles to knot, making it really uncomfortable.
When I turned fifty, I considered giving up exercise. Well, why not?
I started to see exercise as an occasional oversight and participated when I had a spare 60 minutes.
But habit and the urge to be one of those super immensely fit eighty-something women you see on Pinterest convinced me to carry on.
I fear I will be exercising well into my eighties and nineties.
As my recent visit to the women's wellness clinic advised, I am a euphemist for age; it may be time to kick back and rest more.
Hang on a minute; Mount Everest is on my bucket list.
I do not subscribe to defying age; while you can reduce or slow the ageing process, you can't stop it.
Women have a hard enough time as it is with the impact of negative advertising and the romantic idealism that all women should make an effort to look young.
We are the age we are; there is nothing wrong with defying age as long as it's not to the detriment of our naturalness.
"Age is an issue of mind over matter; if you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
~ Mark Twain
We live in a culture obsessed with youth and good looks; scroll through social media, online ads and magazines to see a youth-obsessed culture.
Menopause is hard enough without having to confront its challenges.
A well-meaning beautician told me to eliminate magnifying mirrors a few years ago.
I didn't take her advice because with age comes the inevitable poor eyesight, so I'm grateful for the mirror magnification.
Every morning and evening, the face that stares back at me reminds me of the ageing process, and I physically lack the strength and fortitude I had in my thirties.
Frustratingly.
My back represents my physical and emotional well-being; when I feel upbeat and strong, my back feels good.
When I'm in the dumps, my back carries the weight of tension and stress I accumulate over time.
It is strange how our bodies tell us how we feel; this has never been more prevalent than at the start of 2024.
My back carries tension and emotional stress, and it bloody well aches.
I know what emotional stress is causing the problem, but no amount of yoga will help my overthinking mind stop and slow down.
I recently discovered an excellent sports remedial therapist and a practising GP (General Practitioner - Dr. in the UK). She is anything but general; those hands worked wonders on my ailing back.
Too much tension there, she said as she contorted my body into various positions to ease the knotted muscles.
How did cavemen manage? I asked.
They didn't eat the ultra-high-processed foods many eat today, and they weren't sitting in front of a computer all day, every day.
Ah well.
My aching back is the universe telling me to slow down.
When life gets busy, we go out of balance, and I am sure it has to do with coming out of winter.
I hibernate during the winter months and am finally emerging as the days get longer and there's a hint of spring in the air.
At the same time, I also have to acknowledge my limitations as I face up to the undeniable fact that I don't have the stamina I had when I was thirty-five.
We are unique in what our bodies are capable of, and I recognise that I cannot go at the speed I did five years ago.
When we understand what we can reasonably cope with, we have some control over our well-being.
The difficulty is learning where those limits are without overworking oneself and not feeling like a failure if you run out of energy and feel exhausted.
Recognising when to take a break and acknowledging that you can't do as much requires stoicism.
Understanding our limits allows us to work toward our goals without compromising our physical and mental well-being, but the hard part is finding that fine line and recognising the need to slow down when we get to it.