The challenges of being a quinquagenarian

To you and me about being in your fifties ... 😂

You're in your fifties, yah, so what?

Yes, it is or was a significant milestone, marking a phase of transformational reflection and often newfound empowerment, but it isn’t the end of the world.

I know I can speak from experience, but….

This decade represents a unique set of challenges that can impact various aspects of life, including career, health, relationships, and societal perception.

While women in their fifties possess wisdom, experience and confidence, we also encounter ageism, menopause, and shifting family dynamics.

Physical and health-related challenges

Seriously, right at the top of the list of all the things we women have to manage, if that’s the right word, is yep, you guessed it, menopause with its hot flashes, anxiety, mood swings, forgetfulness, fatigue and sleep disturbances.

The thing is, with menopause, it doesn't just happen overnight.

For many women, it can be a long, drawn-out affair that starts in the mid to late forties and continues through the fifties and early sixties.

There is seemingly no end in sight, no real ending, until you wake up one morning and go, er, oh, have my symptoms gone?

Not only did I struggle and continue to struggle with the discomfort of menopause, but the combination of anxiety and feelings of helplessness factor in forgetfulness and a lethal dose of madness bordering on insanity and some days, I feel like my head might explode.

There is a lot to deal with and few places to seek help and sympathy.

There is a hint of good news…

The last five years have seen dramatic transparency in menopause from books, social media, and celebrities who have successfully placed menopause on the social agenda, which is good news but still hasn't helped women in the workplace.

It's getting there, but many women suffer in silence, unable to tell their employers how bad they are feeling and how they struggle to cope.

Employers are not aware of its effects.

Women face the added challenge of running the risk of developing osteoporosis, heart disease and diabetes.

While healthcare may offer well women's clinics, the system isn't prioritising ageing-related concerns, leaving many having to navigate menopause independently in silence.

Workplace and career issues

I am a little bit more fortunate as I run my own business; I can pick myself up and adapt to whatever my body decides to do on a given day.

Still, many women don't have that luxury, often sitting at the desk in silence, wishing someone would open the window because it feels like the tropics, while the other side of the office can’t get the heating high enough as they sit in what feels like arctic conditions.

On top of all of this, women face ageism and gender bias.

Irrespective of knowledge and wisdom, women in their fifties struggle with career advancement, job security and professional advancement, with employers preferring younger employees who outwardly are adaptable and more innovative.

Although I would argue that we are far more flexible and adaptable because skills and experience have taught us to think broadly and out of the box, capable of finding solutions to problems, whereas the younger generation are conditioned to believe in a particular way and are more process driven - we have to follow it this way to get the result where my generation are more likely to step back weigh up the pros and cons and then adapt.

Shifting family dynamics

Family dynamics are changing; not only are we navigating menopause, but we are also managing ageing parents coping with empty nest syndrome as our darlings leave for University or move on with their partners as they start their futures.

Leaving menopausal mums bereft, lost and searching for a renewed purpose in life.

Empty nest syndrome hit me hard when my eldest left for University in 2017.

I now face the prospect of him moving into his first new home with his girlfriend.

I will share those feelings with you later, but for now, the empty nest is a real heartbreaker, with many feeling lonely because they have lost their caregiving role, all of which takes time to adjust.

It is a challenging time, and while women search for a renewed sense of purpose and meaning in life, others find it liberating not to have kids at home.

Ageing parents, yet another challenge we must navigate, thrust into the role of caregivers, worriers and task managers.

Just when we think we are adapting to this newfound freedom, our ageing parents cause us to place everything on hold and review how we will spend the next ten years of life.

Trying to balance self-care with family obligations becomes a finely tuned balancing act as we do our best to care for ourselves.

Empowerment and new opportunities

But there is also something deeper here: media and cultural expectations continue to marginalise older women, portraying them as less attractive and less relevant, often deemed past their prime.

The pendulum is shifting, with notable celebrities facing off against menopause, making us feel more inclusive.

However, we still have a long way to go before we redefine this decade.

Women are also redefining beauty standards.

Pamela Anderson, Naomi Watts and Sarah Jessica Parker break the mould of how women in their fifties are perceived, especially in beauty and ageing.

The quinquagenarian decade is challenging, from menopause and workplace discrimination to shifting family roles.

Still, we have decades of experience and resilience and are in a better position to understand ourselves and what we want from life.

Women are more emboldened, barriers are being torn down, redefining what it means to age gracefully, so there's a lot to be excited about.

Now, please let me go and lie down in a dark room…