The Swing of Things
A little essay on going with the flow, staying in the right lane and being less hard on ourselves.
It's almost the end of March, and I am running late, as is this post.
My epitaph will read: she tried hard but was always behind schedule.
While spring is in the air, it got me thinking about how we tackle life day by day.
Taking one step at a time is the easiest way to navigate life, and I tackle each problem and each day as it comes, breaking things down into chunks rather than looking at the whole.
The future can feel overwhelming, especially when training, studying for an exam, or working toward an event.
It can cause anxiety and worry when we want to know what the future holds.
Focusing on the here and now and the day ahead helps us concentrate only on what is essential.
I am not that good at future planning, often letting events or things get in the way rather than working around them.
But the start of 2024 has seen me work hard to focus on planning each day and finish the work.
The revelation is surprising. I feel grounded, calm, and peaceful.
I accept that the future can care for itself; why worry about things I can't control?
Much of this has to do with menopause, as a combination of brain fog and a feeling of helplessness means planning anything beyond the next day is impossible.
Menopause is a tough gig for women. There are good days, often followed by bad.
There are days and weeks when you want to erase yourself, wanting to start over.
And that is how it is for women in menopause: life is up and down.
You don't always know what's coming next, like hot and cold sweats, so planning becomes challenging.
The anxiety that grips me one day, followed by a day of lethargy and no energy, is commonplace.
So you accept the swing of things and go with the flow or die trying.
It's also a pretty lonely time because friends have different experiences, and while talking about it is helpful, it doesn't resolve your menopause.
When you're exhausted, your partner thinks, "She's in a mood again."
When will this never-ending tiredness lessen so you can get up in the morning without feeling like you've run a marathon?
I'm a routine person, from getting up until I go to bed.
Let's say Monica in "Friends" resonates with me.
Maybe a flawed planner, but someone who needs routine and tidiness; otherwise, it feels like the roof is caving in.
Many of us run around trying to be efficient and productive to meet and manage our many obligations, and we neglect ourselves.
I was told recently that I must slow down and make time for myself.
Ha, I retorted. My life is full-on. When do I get a chance to slow down?
Staying on track and nurturing ourselves is vital for our self-worth.
Whether it's Yoga, exercise, walking or writing in our daily journal, it helps us stay in touch with how we are feeling and anchors us to the here and now.
Taking time out helps us slow down and disconnect from the frenetic pace many in menopause feel.
It also ensures we give our mental health a breather.
But I must admit that taking a break makes me feel guilty; I must be doing something to compensate for sitting down for a minute.
The only way we can see the beauty of life is to remind ourselves to disconnect, stop and slow down.
Gandhi said, "Live as if you were to die tomorrow."
His words are a formidable reminder to optimise life and not to push too hard, something that I, like many, would do well to remember.